Karen Read Comparing Herself to OJ Simpson is Not the Greatest Look Right Now

Boston Globe. Getty Images.

Somewhat surprisingly, the retrial of Commonwealth v. Karen Read has successfully empaneled 16 jurors after two weeks of trying. With the goal of putting a total of 18 in the box before Opening Arguments can begin. (Just to clarify: 12 will actually decide the case, but they commonly empanel a few spares. Especially in a case like this that should go a couple of months at least. At the conclusion of the evidence, some will be randomly selected as alternates, while the remaining dozen go into the jury room to deliberate.) Which might not sound like a lot of progress. But given how Massholes have spent the better part of the last few years and ALL of 2024 yammering on about this trial, the fact they've seated 16 adults from Norfolk County who haven't formed opinions on it is nothing short of remarkable. 

So to use a sports metaphor, Gary Player, Tom Watson and Jack Nicklaus are heading to the tee box, a few ceremonies, introductions, and rounds of applause are still to come. Then the first group will be on the tee and this Massachusetts Tradition Unlike Any Other [tm] will be off and running.

Which makes this a uniquely bad time for the defendant to keep doing what she's been doing. Which is talking into microphones. Lots and lots of microphones. And it's been a bad idea every time it's been tried. 

I don't know who's advising Read on this. Presumably her defense team. Though why they'd want her sitting down for interviews like the ones she gave for the Max docuseries that released a few weeks ago:

… when their one and only job should be getting their client acquitted is beyond me. I watched this series and virtually nobody in it comes off well. Even the behind-the-scenes footage of her defense team in the office combing through evidence and devising strategy have the feel of a personal injury law firm commercial where the lawyer stands in the board room saying "We're going to get our clients every penny they have coming to them." Just slightly better acted.

Anyway, there was no reason beyond self-promotion/self-aggrandizement to allow cameras to follow them around as they're representing someone charged with murder. Especially when one of those interviews included her counting her many, many, many vodka doubles and shots your 95-pound defendant had on the night in question, she's not doing herself any favors. Nor are you. 

But none of that bad decision-making holds a flickering candle to this little verbal grenade Karen Read dropped into the proceedings in yet another interview, this one with Vanity Fair:

Yeeeahhh … about that. 

It's one thing to say you were wrongly accused of a crime and can empathize with some other defendant you think got unfairly charged. History is full of such examples. A simple AI search would've given her a half dozen examples. The Salem Witch Hunts. The Dreyfus Affair. The Scopes Monkey Trial. Hell, Andy Dufresne in Shawshank and Ralph Macchio in My Cousin Vinny would've worked just fine as examples of unfair prosecution. 

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Instead, she defaulted to the guy who almost decapitated the mother of his children and slaughtered the waiter whose only crime was returning the glasses she left at the restaurant. Not even the people who agreed with the jury's verdict think OJ didn't murder those people. They just believe jury nullification was justified due to the prior behavior of the LAPD. So by saying you would've cheered his acquittal, you're pointing at OJ and saying, "Hey look! That guy's just like me!" Meaning you're a murderer too. There's simply no other way anyone is going to interpret what you're saying. 

Which is as good an incentive as any for Read to stop saying these things. Or anything, for that matter. By now we can all admit - even those who think the investigation into John O'Keefe's murder was bungled, sketchy, and filled with conflicts of interest - that she is not good at this business of advocating for herself. As Ben Franklin put it, "Better to remain silent and be accused of being a jealous girlfriend who ran over your man in a blizzard than to open your mouth and come across as an unsympathetic clown." Or words to that effect. 

Simply put, if I was advising Karen Read, I'd recommend cutting back on the interviews and just be a defendant. In fact, I'd just tell her, "Take it easy, Champ. Why don't you stop talking for a while?"

Next week is going to be wild around here.